You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
