so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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