? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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