In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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