I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
there is glitter all over my balls
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