Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
