you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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