No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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