we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
