Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I supernannyed him into submission
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
