i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
