that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We just shotgunned beers for America
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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