It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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