FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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