How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
