Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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