I'm so fucking centered right now
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
