I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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