Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The air was thick with penises
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
