I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
