Whod you bang
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
