and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
