so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well I just put wine in my tea
I can't put those talents on a resume
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize