the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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