She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
