so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Randomize
