He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize