ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
