we're blogging at a bar
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize