i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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