Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
pop tarts are not kleenex
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
