I need to stop coming to work sober
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
