u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
