im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
