I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
