So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
