i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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