There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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