He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
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So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
