toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize