do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
