sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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