just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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