I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
