We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
