Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
