What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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