My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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