Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
