I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
