I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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