i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
