new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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