Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Randomize
