You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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