I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
