I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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