She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
we're chasing vodka with high fives
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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