Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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