I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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