The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
they need to just BURY HIM!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
