Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
